No More Rules

Mark 10:2-16

Some Pharisees came, and to test him they asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?’ He answered them, ‘What did Moses command you?’ They said, ‘Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.’ But Jesus said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you. But from the beginning of creation, “God made them male and female.” “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.’

Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. He said to them, ‘Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.’

People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them. But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, ‘Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.’ And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.

When I was a student minister, I remember studying this passage during Bible study. I don’t remember much of the discussion, but what I do remember from it was what my supervisor and mentor the pastor of that church, said about it. She was divorced, and she confessed that for a long time, she really struggled with this passage. You know, we can sometimes roll our eyes at Paul saying women should stay silent in the church, it’s Paul, after all, not Jesus; but I remember my mentor saying, “…but these are words straight from Jesus’ mouth, it’s really hard to reconcile.” I remember being surprised by how much this passage affected her. She was and still is progressive and forward-thinking, how could she let this passage hurt her? I was young and only just beginning my studies, and I was still pretty nonchalant about some things.

But as I was reading this passage this time around, I really thought, “yeesh, this is so rough.” Truly, how do we reconcile these seemingly strict and harsh words from Jesus, in a world where divorce is not just common, but often necessary for the physical and mental well-being of the two parties, or their children? Well, I can’t promise you I figured it out, but I tried, and I hope we can all ultimately find some comfort and some hope in this head-scratching, challenging passage. 

To start from the beginning, this story does not start off in good faith. It says very clearly that the Pharisees came to “test” Jesus with this question about divorce. They weren’t actually looking for guidance or a lesson; they weren’t asking Jesus a genuine question. They were trying to trip him up, they were trying to make him say either something incorrect or something controversial enough to get him in trouble. Jesus knows this, so in typical Jesus fashion, he turns it right back on the Pharisees and quizzes them, “What did Moses command you?” Jesus knows that the Pharisees know exactly what the Mosaic law says about divorce, so he catches in a not very flattering light by proving this and making them answer their own question. Jesus then confirms that ‘yes, you’re right, that’s the Mosaic law—but that doesn’t mean it’s good.’

And it gets even more confusing after this moment, when the disciples ask Jesus the same question that Pharisees ask—though the assumption is the disciples are, in fact, asking in good faith; they, as usual, didn’t quite understand what Jesus said to the Pharisees so they want some clarification. At this point, it almost seems like Jesus contradicts himself, right? He went from saying to the Pharisees, “…what God has joined together let no one separate,” period, to “yeah, sure people can get divorced, but if they do, and then they remarry, it’s adultery.” What?!

Well here’s the thing—none of this really matters. And I’m not being flippant here. I want to go back to Jesus’ conversation with the Pharisees. After Jesus turns their question back on them, they answer that Moses says that a man can divorce his wife (but keep in mind, this doesn’t work the other way around). Before Jesus gets into the really challenging tough, heteronormative stuff about God made two people to be joined together, and they shouldn’t ever separate, he says, “Because of your hardness of heart, he wrote this commandment for you.” This is what I want to focus on here. I think this line is crucial. Because no one wants a divorce, right? Unless you’re the gold-digging villain in a Lifetime movie or something, no one marries anyone with the intention of getting divorced or causing anyone pain or turmoil or heartache. But the sad truth is, sometimes it’s necessary. Sometimes things just don’t work out the right way. We make mistakes, we make the wrong choices, we just can’t handle it anymore. In a perfect world, we wouldn’t need divorce. In a perfect world, this would never even be a question. And I believe that’s what Jesus is saying in this moment. I believe he’s saying, “yeah, divorce isn’t great, but we’re a broken people, so right now it’s still in the rulebook, and it’s still allowed.”

I’m thinking again of the Texas abortion law that has desperate women fleeing to other states to access to what is sometimes a lifesaving procedure. And I’m thinking of so much of the propaganda calling people pro-abortion, etc. People aren’t pro-abortion, just like people aren’t pro-divorce. They’re simply necessary procedures, one medical, one legal, that are put in place for safety, well-being, and quality of life. No one wants to go through a major medical event, or a traumatic one. No one wants to go through a messy separation and divorce. And in a perfect world, we won’t need abortions. In a perfect world, we won’t need divorce. But we don’t have to dig too hard to realize this isn’t a perfect world. 

But that, I believe is what Jesus is saying here. That—yes, divorce is legal. Yes, divorce is necessary sometimes because of humanity being in the state that it’s in. And it’s especially interesting when we pay attention to the specificity of the Mosaic law recited by the Pharisees—that “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.” You see, a man’s heart would have to be pretty hardened to divorce his wife in Jesus’ day; when a woman was given a certificate of divorce, she would lose everything—all her rights, all her property, including the option to own property, to own anything. Unless she was fortunate enough to have family willing to take in a scorned woman, she would likely be subjected to begging on the streets for survival. So yes—by the laws of the day, divorce was indeed legal, but that doesn’t mean it’s good—especially for the woman. So at least, despite the equally strict language of Jesus’ second divorce explanation to the disciples, he gives men and women equal rights and responsibilities when it comes to divorce. (Though, I admit, I still have trouble reconciling this one with Jesus’ initial explanation. I guess really wrestling with that can be for another sermon).

And today, I think it’s safe to say that things have changed quite a bit for the better, but divorce can be necessary because our hearts remain hardened. When someone has chosen a partner who just doesn’t end up being right for them, hearts are hardened against one another. When someone’s heart is so hardened that they abuse their spouse, or any other family member, divorce is absolutely necessary. As long as we live in a world full of hardened hearts, Church, certain procedures, certain laws, certain allowances will remain a necessity. And that’s okay. We just have to continue to work towards a world that will no longer require these things.

Now, in typical Mark fashion, we transition very abruptly here—we go from these confounding divorce explanations to Jesus welcoming the little children, complete with the classic, “Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” But as usual, this transition from divorce to children in the kingdom of God is not quite as jarring and abrupt as it may seem.

Those of you who were here a couple weeks ago might remember when we talked about Jesus’ attitude and love towards children. We talked about how on the surface, these passages about children can be read in a lovely and easy way—that those who are pure and innocent and cute will be welcomed with open arms into the kingdom of heaven. But there’s so much more to it than that. At the risk of repeating myself, let me remind you that children in Jesus’ day were not looked upon as they are today—they were seen as property, as not fully human yet. They were on about the same level as a servant, or a slave even. So again, Jesus isn’t saying only the pure of heart will make it into the kingdom of God. Jesus is saying that the lowliest of the low will be welcomed—the least of these.

With all that being said, this jump from cryptic and challenging statements about Mosaic law and divorce actually works well—because in Jesus’ day, who would be included as the least of these? Surely a woman who gets everything taken away from her when her husband divorces her; surely a woman who has been insulted, scorned, and thrown to the wolves; surely someone who winds up on the bottom rung of society, alongside children, servants, and beggars. Because sure, we’re working towards a time in which divorce won’t have to exist, in which there will be no rungs of society; we’re working towards a time when there will be no “least of these.” But since we’re not there yet, Jesus must make it clear who gets priority—those who don’t get priority in the earthly realm; those who are looked down upon. I read this whole scene as another response to the disciples’ question. It seems to me that Jesus is saying, ‘Disciples, not only do I welcome the children, but this is just proving my point—that none of these inquiries of divorce or Mosaic laws even matter that much. What matters is that we work towards a world in which we won’t need these laws—a world in which the least of these are on the same level as everyone else—a world where there are no levels.

In our world today, let’s think about who would be the least of these. I imagine that someone fleeing an abusive marriage, living in a shelter, would be welcomed into the kingdom of God, no questions asked. I imagine anyone reeling with depression, anxiety, and loneliness after the dissolution of a marriage would be welcomed into the kingdom of God. I imagine anyone regretting a mistake, regretting wronging someone they loved would be welcomed into the kingdom of God. I imagine anyone mourning a relationship, a whole life they thought would last forever would be welcomed into the kingdom of God.

Here’s the thing—when we hear about people who are divorced, people who have maybe made decisions we don’t agree with, people who have had made mistakes and unwittingly hurt those they love, we often don’t know their circumstances. And we live in a world of people, of many Christians who has taken these statements from Jesus at face value, and used them against their neighbor to undermine, to shame, and to feel holier than thou. People have used these words to judge and to hurt people, which I believe is a sin in and of itself.

There’s a reason this difficult passage ends with Jesus reiterating his lesson about and his love children—about his love for the least of these. And that reason is that earthly laws and rules and necessities don’t matter. They might be necessary evils, but ultimately what matters is that we keep ourselves humble and work to love and lift the least of these. What matters is that we work towards a world in which there are no least of these—we do this by refusing to judge those who have had different life paths than us. And we do this by advocating for those same people, we do this by being true Christians working to make this earth as it is in heaven.

So for now, let’s know that we’re in a broken world of broken people with hardened hearts, and that as long that’s the case, there will be some laws, some procedures, some rules that are unfortunate but necessary. But let’s not accept that. And when I say let’s not accept that, I don’t mean let’s work to change or do away with laws or rules that are still needed. I mean let’s change the world so that these laws and rules are simply not needed anymore. Amen.